Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
