The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Randomize
