who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
