pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
