How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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