i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
