So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
