Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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