just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro