She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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