My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out