i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever