Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day

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  (609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day http://tfl.nu/6lmw
  Replies (5) Good night (771) Bad night (1448)
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  (530): View more from California

  69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

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  (530): 69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle http://tfl.nu/56qq
  Replies (31) Good night (847) Bad night (6644)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you

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  (609): overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you http://tfl.nu/i2qz
  Replies (27) Good night (5415) Bad night (717)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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  (708): I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME" http://tfl.nu/3lzs
  Replies (39) Good night (10286) Bad night (798)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.

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  (215): I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk. http://tfl.nu/289e
  Replies (12) Good night (4862) Bad night (1230)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.

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  (479): Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain. http://tfl.nu/si9l
  Replies (13) Good night (1060) Bad night (5084)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams

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  (815): Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams http://tfl.nu/1l19
  Replies (10) Good night (1339) Bad night (3813)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.

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  (580): Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me. http://tfl.nu/8lxk
  Replies (10) Good night (2443) Bad night (1347)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

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  (713): Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me http://tfl.nu/9ft0
  Replies (4) Good night (873) Bad night (1817)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  So how was your night?

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  (231): Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob. (703): So how was your night? http://tfl.nu/0nrk
  Replies (4) Good night (1801) Bad night (566)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...

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  (215): five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ... http://tfl.nu/nz34
  Replies (5) Good night (1282) Bad night (486)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere

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  (614): So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere http://tfl.nu/qzem
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...

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  (646): I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes... http://tfl.nu/1uwm
  Replies (9) Good night (469) Bad night (1385)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch

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  (562): So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch http://tfl.nu/gm5w
  Replies (8) Good night (867) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night

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  (773): Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night http://tfl.nu/78ek
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (369)

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