I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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