I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
