Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize