your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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