i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
50% drunk capacity currently
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
