hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize