But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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