Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Welp...herpes.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
