im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
