This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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