Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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