i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I deserve this hangover.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize