she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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