His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize