he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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