And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
