We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
