Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize