I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
