Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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