so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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