It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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