Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
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and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
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there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize