Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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