I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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