I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
