This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
