I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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