thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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