is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I can't turn off my feet"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
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Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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