So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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