Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You are the jesus of drinking
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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