last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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