I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
