The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
