at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
