they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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