Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he was CRYING into my vagina
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
