My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
