i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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