I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
