don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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