I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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