Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
