At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
