i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
