i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
