Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
