Im at strip club and am horny
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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