Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
