How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
