sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
